swallowing my breakfast at 1:11pm
has trouble going down and doesn’t care to
for what is climbing up and out of me
is expanding and breaking apart

pieces of regret wrapped in self-loathing
I fucked up again
and I think
the desperation is pathetic
get over your fractured ego!

place her in that cardboard box
and set her out sea
with the pretentious and cruel

paper expands and breaks apart in water
the mechanical bite size segments will
the weakness from a blunder
the weight of inward grudges

how have I been so undeserving
that I need to self destruct this intensely
in order to allow myself the
space to grieve
for free?

only when I forgive myself for making
mistakes will I
stop making them.



~ Tara Palov

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